Help for Loved Ones
The absolute rule here is to take care of yourself first.
If your loved one struggles with addiction, you understand how isolating that experience can be. Shame and fear of stigma often keep family members suffering in the shadows.
Families deal with and experience the disease of addiction in many different ways. Coming to grips with the reality of what’s happening can be extremely difficult.
And sometimes confusion, misunderstanding and other barriers can make the process of getting good help very hard.
Addiction has a profound impact on loved ones.
Many of the behaviors associated with addiction — lack of control, disordered thinking, dysfunctional emotions and an inability to recognize relationship problems — are deeply upsetting to friends and family.
Close interaction with someone you care about who is suffering from addiction is very difficult. Most often, it leads to the concerned loved one adopting dysfunctional behaviors of their own.
Moreover, the addiction sufferer’s out of control and unpredictable nature can leave loved ones feeling helpless, furious, and as if their sense of reality is being turned inside out and upside down.
Living with addiction often results in cumulative trauma. It’s no wonder so many loved ones become extremely weary.
At the same time, their efforts to help are often not well received by the person with the disease. This can leave the loved one frustrated, angry, confused, hurt and full of resentment and distrust.
Often the loved one becomes overwhelmed attempting to "fix" the problem of their friend or family member who is suffering. Many loved ones worry endlessly.
Many neglect their own needs and the needs of other loved ones in their lives. They feel intense guilt; they blame and doubt themselves. They feel deep shame having raised or living with a “drug addict” or “alcoholic.”
Most have been advised to simply stop trying, employ “tough love” and cast out the addicted person. They’re labeled codependent and told to let the person they love “hit bottom.” This can leave loved ones confused, helpless and desperate.
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon to feel that schools, law enforcement or other elements of “the system” have treated you poorly. You may have run into privacy issues with treatment providers, struggled with how to talk about your own experience or faced silence even within your own family.
How We Support Loved Ones
These challenges are not easy. You’re probably grappling with how to support your loved one while setting boundaries. Parents of teens and young adults may feel guilty about their child’s addiction. Or that others might be blaming them for the problem.
But family members don’t have to face these problems alone. We provide free coaching for loved ones impacted by addiction. Our loved one coaches have walked in your shoes, having had a close family member or friend themselves who suffered from the disease.
Face It TOGETHER’s coaches are trained to help clients develop practical approaches and tools to get themselves well and motivate their family member or friend to seek help.
Face It TOGETHER coaches help guide loved ones in improving communication, reducing conflict and building resilience. The coaches help clients:
- Recognize situations where their previous approach didn’t work;
- Address their own personal wellness;
- Establish safe and healthy boundaries; and
- Improve the quality of their own life.
Contact us and we can connect with you a peer loved one coach who understands what you’re going through. Our coaches provide free support to loved ones for any length of time.